Routines

I got stressed this weekend. I made the mistake of reading a book, lent to me by a friend, which had suggested routines for a baby in it. It started out well, discussing the different cries a baby makes (emotional, which means they need your help and a cuddle, hungry, which means they need feeding, and complaining, which means they are bored or tired etc.) It also chimed with the way Tim and I had been getting Marisca to sleep when she was tired: letting her cry a bit if it was just a protest cry, but going and sitting with her if she cried too long. We never let her cry if she's unhappy, but she does tend to cry as she is going to sleep, and picking her up just makes her cry more! Anyway, as all the advice seemed to fit with what we are doing anyway I started thinking this could be a good book, and made the mistake of reading the section on routines.

This suggested that a breastfed baby should have a two hour nap in the morning, another two hour nap in the afternoon, and feed every four hours. What?? Marisca sleeps for 40 minutes several times a day, and feeds every 2 to 2.5 hours (but sleeps through the night). I started stressing - should I try to make her sleep for longer, should I try to stretch her feeds, would she be happier in more of a routine etc. As with all baby books, this one of course said that all babies can follow this pattern with no problems. Then I made he mistake of looking on the internet. Lots of people saying two hour naps are the way forward, others saying they had no routine, others with different schedules. Not to mention the discussions about best times for bed/waking up!! I hit a low point and worried I was doing everything wrong.

Then I sat back and took stock. Marisca consistently sleeps through the night, from approx 7 pm to 6 or 7 am. She sometimes wakes once in that time for a feed, but then goes straight back to sleep. She consistently gets tired two hours after she's woken in the morning and goes down for a 40 minute nap - sometimes longer, never shorter. She generally gets hungry every two hours, sometimes a bit longer if she's slept a lot. When she's getting tired (generally two hours after she wakes up from a nap), she gets bags under her eyes and we know to put her down - if we don't, she will cry with tiredness but eventually settle to sleep. If we put her in her cot she knows it's time to sleep and will settle down. It's not a set 'routine', but it's working for us, and fits with our varied days.

So I'm ignoring baby books and 'experts' and the internet and going with what feels right and works for us. That way we should all stay happy and well rested! I'll kepp you updated on whether this works, or whether I resort to expert opinion again...